As this thing called a marathon get closer and closer and oh my God closer to actually happening I am reminded almost daily how incredibly terrified I am.
Running is hard. Running is really hard for me.
Running is physically hard. Running is emotionally hard. Running is mentally hard. My head is playing tricks on me. It is telling me this is an impossible endeavor. It tells me I am too slow. My head tells me I am too fat. My head tells me running is not my thing...this is not your mountain to climb...this is for other people...this is for the gazelles, not the rhinos. Some days I believe my head. Some days my head wins. Many days my head wins. I think maybe I should just do the half? I can do the half and I won't have to go do an 18 mile training run.
I dread the long training runs. Seriously dread the long runs. I hate the long runs. I start getting nervous about Wednesday about the long run I will have to do that weekend. It is awful. It is Wednesday and it is starting. I am thinking about this weekends long run. I need to do 16+. I have to do 16+. If I can do this. I am fairly certain I can do the marathon.
Okay this is a shorty, but I wanted to put it down while I was thinking about it. I am sure there is more. I may post more. Okay now I need sleep.
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